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Doing It “Right”

13 Mar

I don’t know if I have gotten dumber, or if I’ve really just found the crazy thing called life. Back when I was seventeen and knew it all, I didn’t think marriage was difficult. I honestly just decided that people weren’t doing it right. Boy, if I could go back in time and just slap myself.
In the past, I also carried that same outlook on parenting. My child wouldn’t be spoiled, wouldn’t throw tantrums, and would have perfect manners from day one. Why? Because I was going to “do it right”. HA! Little did I know then that most parents–most couples–are “doing it right”: they’re doing the best that they know how to do. If it involves some fighting, some disagreements and some hurt feelings, those things aren’t as important as the main goal. Those things are just bumps in the road. Where does the road lead? I haven’t quite figured that out yet. If you’d asked me “back when I knew it all”, I probably would have said that this road leads to happiness. Now I know that happiness is the journey, not the destination.
I’ve come to realize that the things that I worried about and thought my life depended on when I was seventeen, really don’t matter anymore. Those things that were everything now, aren’t really even an afterthought to reality. While I knew even then that I wouldn’t realistically end up with my first “love”, I also thought that I would die if I didn’t. Why would I die? Because when things didn’t work out, I thought that killing myself was the absolute only option. Afterall, I had focused all of my energy and all of my being into this one thing, putting everything else on the back burner and destroyed it. So when “everything” was gone, I had nothing left to live for. Life is about learning. No matter how bad things are, they will probably get worse. But there will also be better rewards for all of the trouble. And trust me, “life” when you’re an adult because you can drive, have a job and “don’t need” anyone else, is A LOT different from life when you’re an adult because you’re truly living it.
While I’m still not sure where I’m going, I guess I’ll have to just stick to being thankful for having a husband who also is trying to “do it right” with me, and a perfectly imperfect daughter, who I’d change nothing about and trade nothing in the world for.

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1 Comment

Posted by on March 13, 2012 in Building Blocks for Life, Mommy, Wife

 

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One response to “Doing It “Right”

  1. whittmadden

    March 13, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    I am constantly amazed by all of the things I “thought” i knew 10 years ago, only to find out I knew nothing. In fact, the older I get the more I realize the less I know. I’m excited to follow your story on here! Looking forward to your next post!

     

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