Not too long ago I began to pray a new prayer. I began to pray what I had heard in so many sermons and in so many songs. I began to pray for God to “break my heart” for the things that break His. I wanted to see the way that He sees, and love the way that He loves. In the time that has passed since I began praying for this, I can see formidable evidence of my prayer being answered.
In even just the people around me, I can feel so much pain that everyone is carrying. It pains me to see the single mother, worriedconstantly about how she will feed her child, all the while in an abusive relationship because it’s the only way she can put a roof over her son’s head. The people who have devoted their lives to a family and a life that is no longer what they thought it was going to be, feeling trapped with no way out. The devoted family man who would give his life for his family, only to be walked out on. The people who work relentlessly to provide a decent life for a family, to have everything unjustly ripped away from them to be left with nothing. The ones who were once able to provide for a family, but due to a twist of fate, have now been relegated to feeling stuck and useless, no longer able to fully care for themselves much less others (in their own minds). All around me there are people carrying so much hurt that they are just ready to give up on life.
I believe that my prayer was answered, but I also believe that I am only seeing and feeling a fraction of both the love and the pain that the Father must feel knowing how much His children are hurting. But what can I do? I can’t continue to try to provide for the abused mother and her son. I can’t try to take the place of the woman who walked away. I can’t heal those who are no longer flourishing. What can I do?
I can pray for them. I can help them carry their burdens. I can take them to God. Maybe He will show Himself to them as Comforter. Maybe He will give me the means to help them in other ways, I don’t know. What I do know, is that I’m not one to try to predict God. He will do what is best, and all I can do is to keep up my end. All I can do is listen until He tells me what I am to do next. Maybe that is what He wanted from me all along. I want to help these people. I can’t force it, I can’t rush it, and I certainly can’t do it without Him.