Tag Archives: depression

Music Speaks: Just Be Held

Music Speaks: Just Be Held

Just Be Held

by Casting Crowns

“Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding onJust Be Held

And when you’re tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There’s freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

When your eyes are on the storm
You’ll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross you’ll know
I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time you’ll understand
I’m painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in my hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you’ll find Me
And where you are, I’ll hold your heart
I’ll hold your heart
Come to me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won’t let go

 So when you’re on your knees
And answers seem so far away
You’re not alone
Stop holding on
and Just be held
Your world’s not falling apart
It’s falling into place
I’m on the throne
Stop holding on
and Just be held”

Along with a few others that I will likely be writing, I happened across this song during my husbands last hospitalization. Since that day a little over two months ago, these words have been a great encouragement to me. One of the first things that I did when I picked my husband up from the hospital, was share this song with him. I had it all ready to be played when he got off of the bus that brought him back into town. I wanted to share with him this reminder that I think we all need at some point. “You’re not alone.” Perhaps if we weren’t always trying so hard to solve our own problems, we would be more easily able to “stop holding on” and allow God to take over. If we would really rely on Him, and believe that He is able and will help us, what might happen? Good or bad, things happen according to Gods plan. When you’re strong, it is all in Gods plan. When you’re weak, God is still God, and He is still in control.

It has been a tough and constant reminder that I do not have to be everything to everybody. I am not “everything,” nor was I intended to be. I am not supposed to be able to hold everything together all on my own, along with holding everyone else together. I am supposed to rely on God, and He is able to be everything to everybody.

“If your eyes are on the storm you’ll wonder if I love you still But if your eyes are on the cross you’ll know I always have and I always will.”
Oh how true this is, and can only be known by experiencing it. If we are too busy focusing on everything that is going wrong in our lives, we will miss out on so many good things that are happening, amazing things that have happened and the best thing that has yet to happen. If we focus on the cross, and what happened at Calvary, we can be confident that any suffering that we endure has a purpose and that if we remain on the right path, we will be rewarded in ways greater than we can imagine.

“Where you are I’ll hold your heart…”
Again, how absolutely true. This is a fact that I’ve known, but I keep relearning it. It doesn’t matter where we are, good times or bad times, God is there with us. He never leaves us. If we feel that He has abandoned us…the problem is not God, but the problem is with us. If we can’t see Him working, even in the bad times, there is usually a pretty good chance that we aren’t really looking.

I encourage my readers whoever, and wherever you are, to just take a moment to know and to feel that God loves you. You are in His arms. He is surrounding you with love and comfort. No matter what you are going through, He is bigger, and He is in control. This should be a habit. This needs to be something that we never forget. After all, He doesn’t forget about us.

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Posted by on August 18, 2014 in Music Speaks


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Time to Learn

This posting began as a page in my journal just to relieve some tension that I was feeling, but before I was even finished, I decided that this is the exact type of thing that I want to be sharing with my readers….

I’m stuck in a rut of ‘bad’ right now. The car tag expired yesterday and we are about $460.00 short of being able to pay it. I’m challenging myself not to be negative or depressed by it. I started of by kicking myself over all of the ways that my husband and I have wasted money recently, and the “Is God punishing me?” question slipped into my head before I chose to recognize that that was the devil starting to work. While I can’t deny that I have made some financial mistakes, I just had to put a stop to the chattering going on in my head that was telling me “you’re nothing more than a financial disaster.”

I was reminded of the last chapter I read last night in Made to Crave, and one thing popped into my head that instantly snapped my mood from bad to one that would better reflect God. What was that thought, you ask? “LIGHT BULB! This is a perfect example of letting my circumstances define me!” I refuse to let that happen! I am going to fight it, and I’m going to do so with a smile on my face! And do you know why that is? Because I know that God is not punishing me! Satan is testing me! I will not let him win. If he wins this little battle, he wins so much more; he wins my soul, he pulls me closer to him, and that pulls me away from God.

The Bible tells us to rejoice in our suffering,

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.” -Romans 5:3

“Rejoice when we run into problems”, that is exactly what I am going to do. Yes, I am not only going to deal with it, but I am going to embrace it! The point of this trial is not for me to suffer, that isn’t what God wants. I believe that God wants to teach me something through this struggle. I think that my response to this situation is only a fraction of what He wants me to learn right now, and I can’t wait to see what else He has got in store for me!


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Welcome to My Journey!

Welcome to my journey, I hope you’ll join me in this wild adventure called “life”. I’m a wife and mother, who happens to be a young woman. I’m fairly comfortable with saying that I have never really lived my life for myself, not to mention I’ve never really lived my life AS myself. In reality, I’m just now beginning to find out who I really am.

I’ve dealt with love, depression, anxiety, stress, spirituality, social anxiety and everything else that goes with the gift of life, in large part, by myself for most of my life. I’ve lived, and I’ve learned, but I’ve never truly been myself. Until now.

Where I am currently standing in life, I am ready to be happy for me. I feel that I am finally able to live. At 22 years old, I am tired of feeling defeated by feelings and thinking that my life is spinning out of control with nothing I can do to fix it. The fact is-I am in control. I can control my feelings, my thoughts, and my moods–as long as I have the tools.

Two weeks ago I started seeing a counselor, because I was so tired of just suffering through life. I have so much to be thankful for, but was living life in such a way that I wouldn’t consider it “living” at all. I was tired of sleeping until noon everyday and missing my daughter’s life. I was tired of being scared to talk to people, or feeling like I’m not good enough to talk to my own friends. I was just tired of being tired.

After only two visits with my counselor, I learned so much about myself; the biggest being, that I already know myself very well. She was amazed at how much insight I have into myself. I learned that the changes that I want to make for my life, are already underway. She said that I had already done half her job, by knowing my problems and that I already have tools I need to fix them. The problem was, that I didn’t know how to use those tools.

It took me about six months to be able to see a counselor because I simply couldn’t afford it. I hope that I can be an inspiration to other women who want to help themselves, but can’t find the way, because I know exactly what it’s like. I’ve been there.

The two most profound things that I have learned in the last two weeks, are really quite simple:

  1. I have value.
  2. I control me.


While I grew up in a loving, safe family environment, circumstances unfortunately resulted in me being raised being taught that I have no value. It wasn’t intentional on anybodys part. It just happened. As a teenager, I was never good enough, never as good as the girl standing next to me. As an adult, I took the experiences from my past, and believed that I would never be good enough, and would never have value.

It’s only been two weeks, but I can say now that while those thoughts still creep in on occasion, I know that they aren’t true. I know that I have value. Everybody has value. I wasn’t giving myself any credit for all of the things that I was doing. Here I was raising a two-year old, already setting plans into motion concerning her future, being a wife and really working on a marriage and working with my husband to be the best parents that we can be. I was handling all of my families finances by myself, along with being care-taker for my mother in law, while suffering from financial stress, depression, and debilitating social anxiety. My counselor pointed out that not only was I doing (by myself) things that most people don’t even know themselves that they need to be doing, but I was doing it all while fighting against depression, and without giving myself a pat on the back for any of it.

It’s sad to think of how many women (or people in general) are really doing so much more good than they can see. I was one of them. I’m not turning to take pride in everything that I do, but it opened my eyes to see that the “simple” and “insignificant” life that I was living, was worth so much more than I knew.


I had myself convinced that I wasn’t in control. I was fighting depression and anxiety, and they were winning. I felt crushed under them, lost. I was letting these things control my life. I wouldn’t leave the house, because I was afraid I would have to see and talk to people. I was angry, because I let so much bother me. I was constantly anxious because of things that I convinced myself were going to happen. Having frequent panic attacks out of nowhere and not knowing why.

The simple tool that I was given for this, sounded unbelievable when I heard about it. I’ve been using it for a week now, and I can’t remember when I was so calm and happy last. Here it is:

                      THOUGHT STOPPING

Sound impossible? I thought so. When feeling depressed, or anxious (I’ve even been using it to deter anger and frustration), snap a rubber band on your wrist (which many people have heard before). The rubber band hits the nerves, and for that instant, your brain will get distracted. From there, all you have to do is rationalize.

As my counselor explained this to me, she said it’s not always easy. In fact for most people, it’s a difficult task when they start it. I have been incredibly lucky (again, due to the insight I have into myself) and this has come very easy for me. Here’s an example: If my husband is on a road trip, and he doesn’t answer his cell when I call-I automatically assume he’s dead in a ditch. *snap* No. Rationalize. His battery could be dead. He could be on back roads. No signal. In a meeting. There are SO many, more likely possibilities than the irrational one that first popped into my head.

These are the things that I have been learning. Some people, obviously, will be familiar with them, some people won’t. I have been so excited about this knowledge that I’ve acquired and I’m anxious to be able to share it. If I can share these tips and help one person who has been dealing with things that they thought they couldn’t handle, my blog is worthwhile. I plan to continue updating with stories and breakthroughs and tips/tools as I continue my counseling and life-building. Again, I hope you’ll join me on this journey.

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Posted by on March 12, 2012 in Building Blocks for Life


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