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There’s a girl in the corner, with tear stains on her eyes. From the places she’s wandered and the shame she can’t hide. She says, “How did I get here? I’m not who I once was, and I’m crippled by the fear that I’ve fallen too far to love.”
Don’t you know who you are? What has been done for you? Don’t you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you’ve made. You are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the problems you create. You’ve been remade.
Well she tries to believe that, that she’s been given new life. But she can’t shake the feeling that it’s not true tonight. She knows all the answers, and she’s rehearsed all the lines. And so she’ll try to feel better, then she’s too weak to try. Don’t you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you’ve made. You are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the problems you create. You’ve been remade.
You are more than the choices that you’ve made. You are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the problems you create. You’ve been remade.
This is not about what you’ve done, but what’s been done for you. This is not about where you’ve been, but where your brokenness brings you to. This is not about what you did but what He did to forgive you. This is not about what you feel but what He felt to forgive you and what He felt to make you new.
You are more than the choices that you’ve made. You are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the problems you create. You’ve been remade.
You are more than the choices that you’ve made. You are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the problems you create. You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.

You Are More by Tenth Avenue North

There’s a girl …

 
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Posted by on January 3, 2014 in Life in General

 

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Music Speaks: “Monster” & More

Four years ago, I married a monster.
He as wounded, lost and filled with rage. The monster that I married believed that God was to blame for so many hardships and tragedies throughout both his childhood and his adult life.
The monster was violent and in search of any and every outlet he could find to unleash his anger.

HusbandSomewhere along the line, the monster had a few meetings with God and learned that he was off track with his misplaced anger and blame.

Four years and six months after getting married, the monster that I joined my life to is nowhere to be found.
The monster has since rebuilt a long dormant relationship with Him and rediscovered that the Savior is just that.

Today is my husbands 33rd birthday, and I am so proud of the man that he is and that he is becoming. I consider myself very fortunate to have found a man with whom I can learn and grow. We’ve been able to rediscover the wonder of the Lord near the same time period together in our marriage and it has been an exciting walk and I’m so thankful that we’ve been able to do it together.

(Happy Birthday, baby.)

Monster
by Skillet

The secret side of me, I’ll never let you see.
I keep it caged but I can’t control it.
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly.
I feel the rage and I just can’t hold it.

It’s scratchin’ on the walls, in the closet, in the halls.
It comes awake and I can’t control it.
Hidin’ under the bed, in my body, in my head.
Why won’t somebody come and save me from this
Make it end.

I feel it deep within
It’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster.

My secret side I keep, hid under lock and key.
I keep it caged but I can’t control it.
Cause if I let him out, he’ll tear me up, break me down.
Why won’t somebody come and save me from this
Make it end.

It’s hidin’ in the dark
It’s teeth are razor sharp
There’s no escape for me
It wants my soul, it wants my heart.

No one can hear me scream
Maybe it’s just a dream
Or maybe it’s inside of me
Stop this monster.

I feel it deep within
It’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I’m gonna lose control
It’s something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster.

 
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Posted by on March 5, 2013 in Music Speaks, Wife

 

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Music Speaks: Steady My Heart

I woke up this morning, and my day started off with less than perfect circumstances. As I’ve said before, we had to renew our car tags, which required quite a large sum of money. Well, we took care of it as soon as we could, but that made us short for the other bills that we have due this week. Not the worse of all possible problems by any means, but it was enough to have me down in the dumps.

I kept telling myself all morning that I needed to make it a priority to not just forget or ignore God today because things weren’t going my way. I prayed, I tried to get my spirits up, but nothing was working. I decided to go visit my dad, living about thirty-minutes away from me, so I got my daughter ready, and turned on my iPod and got set up for the drive. Just as I was getting close to my parents house, a song started playing. It wasn’t a song that I was incredibly familiar with. I had heard it on the radio once and decided I liked the sound of it. Like I said, I had been praying. God knew exactly what I needed, and He gave it to me as a reminder in the form of this song. The song is “Steady My Heart” by  Kari Jobe

Wish it could be easy,
Why is life so messy?
Why is pain a part of us?
There are days I feel like
Nothing ever goes right.
Sometimes it just hurts so much.
But You’re here,
You’re real.
I know I can trust you.
Even when it hurts,
Even when it’s hard,
Even when it all just falls apart,

I will run to You
Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars.
You steady my heart.
I’m not gonna worry
I know that You got me
Right inside the palm of Your hand.
Each and every moment
What’s good and what gets broken
Happens just the way that You plan.
And I will run to You
You’re my refuge in Your arms.

And I will sing to You
Cause of everything You are.
Even when it hurts,
Even when it’s hard,
Even when it all just falls apart,

I will run to You
Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars.
You steady my heart. “

 
These words were exactly what I needed to hear. Before the song was over, I could feel the freedom of giving my problems to God, as I had tried to do earlier in the morning, but just couldn’t figure out how to. A sense of peace and joy washed over me, and I felt Gods presence and I knew that I didn’t have to worry about the things that were going on. God will worry about it for me, and He will make sure that my family is taken care of by giving us whatever we need, whether it be financially or by maybe teaching a lesson that we need to learn. Either way, it doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is that I know that He will provide.

Since hearing that song this morning (and maybe listening to it three or four more times), I’ve been in a wonderful mood. Not because of the song, but because of the meaning, because of the wonderful God that I serve. I’m not usually a crying type of person, but as I was listening to this (the first time), and I finally “got it”, I was just in awe of how amazing God is. That He would send me this little reminder, at the exact moment that I needed it, was just a miniscule example of His awesome love and power.

I have been learning so much, and honestly trying very hard to listen for God. I had always questioned in the past, whether or not God was “talking” to me, because I never felt like He was really telling me anything or leading me anywhere. I began to make a conscious effort to listen, and…that’s all it takes. I could have easily skipped the song, or chosen to let my nasty mood rule me, but I was wanting God to take over. I took that song as a gift from Him. Just as Satan puts stumbling blocks in our way, God puts answers in front of us, we just have to learn to watch for them.

 

 

 
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Posted by on June 1, 2012 in Life in General, Music Speaks

 

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