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A Word From A Joyful Heart

A Word From A Joyful Heart

It is with much difficulty that I find myself writing this morning. Difficult because I am at a loss for words.
Since my post last night, I have been overwhelmed by the response that I have gotten from friends and acquaintances whom I never would have guessed would have even read my blog, but not only did they read it, but I have been flooded with messages and responses from these people showing their support and sharing their prayers for my family. I am so grateful to have such people in my life, whether they be people that I see daily, only on occasion, or those who I worship with. Once again, I am overwhelmed by the love of God and the reminder that there are still many good people in the world who will take the time out of their own busy days and lives to pray for others.
Thank you all for your kindness. It means more than you will know. 20140612-102248-37368700.jpg

 
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Posted by on June 12, 2014 in Life in General

 

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What Can I Do?

Not too long ago I began to pray a new prayer. I began to pray what I had heard in so many sermons and in so many songs. I began to pray for God to “break my heart” for the things that break His. I wanted to see the way that He sees, and love the way that He loves. In the time that has passed since I began praying for this, I can see formidable evidence of my prayer being answered.

In even just the people around me, I can feel so much pain that everyone is carrying. It pains me to see the single mother, worriedconstantly about how she will feed her child, all the while in an abusive relationship because it’s the only way she can put a roof over her son’s head. The people who have devoted their lives to a family and a life that is no longer what they thought it was going to be, feeling trapped with no way out. The devoted family man who would give his life for his family, only to be walked out on. The people who work relentlessly to provide a decent life for a family, to have everything unjustly ripped away from them to be left with nothing. The ones who were once able to provide for a family, but due to a twist of fate, have now been relegated to feeling stuck and useless, no longer able to fully care for themselves much less others (in their own minds). All around me there are people carrying so much hurt that they are just ready to give up on life.

I believe that my prayer was answered, but I also believe that I am only seeing and feeling a fraction of both the love and the pain that the Father must feel knowing how much His children are hurting. But what can I do? I can’t continue to try to provide for the abused mother and her son. I can’t try to take the place of the woman who walked away. I can’t heal those who are no longer flourishing. What can I do?

I can pray for them. I can help them carry their burdens. I can take them to God. Maybe He will show Himself to them as Comforter. Maybe He will give me the means to help them in other ways, I don’t know. What I do know, is that I’m not one to try to predict God. He will do what is best, and all I can do is to keep up my end. All I can do is listen until He tells me what I am to do next. Maybe that is what He wanted from me all along. I want to help these people. I can’t force it, I can’t rush it, and I certainly can’t do it without Him.

 
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Posted by on August 2, 2012 in Life in General

 

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Fuelling the Fire of Sin

There is a temptation to sin. The temptation to get closer to the sin, while trying to justify that if we only get closer, we are still okbecause we aren’t the ones sinning. I’ve been struggling with this myself for the past week or two. I’ve been open about every detail with those who are close to me. Subconsciously, I knew that I needed to be held accountable, and the only way I knew to make sure that would happen, was by not keeping my struggles a secret.

The temptation of sin has been hanging over me and weighing down on my shoulders in the heaviest way. It has consumed my thoughts, and pulled my focus from where it needed to be more fully focused; on God.

I think that as I grow in my relationship with God, I have a lot of slip ups, and one of those I would consider to be praying out of habit rather than desire at times. On occasion, I’ve found that I pray daily, not because I want to talk with God or hear from God, but sometimes because I feel like I’m supposed to pray. This is an area that seems to be brought to my attention quite regularly lately, and I believe that Gods message has finally gotten through and I know that it is something that I need to change. Not only that needs to change, but something that I want to change.

Last night, was an honest prayer. I’ll go as far as saying that it was a desperate prayer. I’ve prayed about my current struggles before, and prayed earnestly about them, but last night was different. It felt different, in a way that I can’t easily describe. But I know that God was there. I think that sometimes that still slips my mind. That He is always there. I feel that when I allow myself to forget that, my spirituality suffers. Maybe you can relate.

My desperation hadn’t escaped me upon waking up this morning, but nor had the knowledge that God was still with me. As I sat at the edge of my bed and began to write, a sudden clarity came over me, and I filled the pages of my journal with words, and feelings and emotions that were just flowing out of me without thought.

What did I come up with?

Fighting temptation isn’t supposed to be easy! Otherwise it wouldn’t be temptation. How could this simple fact have been eluding me so easily as I was feeling the pressure of dealing with my problems? Because that’s how it works. The devil wants us to forget the basic facts, and give in to the temptation that he puts around us.

It didn’t take me long to realize what both my Bible and a friend had already told me, “Flee from sin”. Somehow, this statement took on a new meaning, and a new weight. I finally “got it”! “Flee from sin”–get away from sin–all of it. I realized that each time that I gave in, just a little bit, I was adding fuel to the fire and turning from God a little more each time. This morning was the first time I can confidently say regarding this situation, I didn’t give in. I fought it with everything in me. I fought it, knowing that God is in me. as a result, I can feel God again, and I know that He is here and that He never left.

I recently read about how it is impossible to serve both the flesh and the Spirit. This too, under current circumstances, took on a new level of meaning to me. This is exactly what I’ve been trying to do, to serve both. Inside, I knew that it wasn’t something that I could do, and I knew what I needed to do, but the flesh wouldn’t allow me to admit it fully. I can’t serve God if I am fuelling the desire to sin, and that is just what I had been doing. Just adding a little fuel, thinking that nothing bad would happen. That isn’t how it works! A little fuel will go a long way when it comes to burning down a temple. I belong to God. I am His temple. I will not continue to allow it to burn. The flesh or the Spirit. It’s one or the other, and the choice is clear!

Matthew 26:41
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”

 
 

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